I just drove by the Apple store in San Francisco. There were at lest 50 people with lawn chairs, camping out (i assume) to buy an iPhone when they go on sale tomorrow morning.

The good news is that the Apple store is in the “tenderloin” district, a part of town best known for its homelessness and crackhead problem — so if one of those Apple geeks needs to take a late-night dump on the sidewalk, no one will look twice.

Here’s my version of Juice Newton’s “Angel of the Morning” — set to the original video.

Someone just informed me that my drumming video is the first result when you search YouTube for “omg“. Click here to see (results may have changed by the time you click this…who knows)

Not sure how that happened, but it’s cool I guess.

I wrote and recorded this song in 1 hour. I call it “Grab Ilona’s Butt.”

I only have 5 minutes now to write these words
but I really don’t know what it’s about

Ilona’s sick and on my couch
she lies there all day on her butt
I don’t know, maybe she has gout

I buy her orange juice
and tell her to drink all her soup
But I don’t think she likes it very much

She’d rather lie there on her butt
I must admit it’s really cute.
So cute in fact I’d really like to touch. it.

But since she’s lying on her butt
it’s physically impossible
for me to grab it with my hand

[chorus]
Grab Ilona’s butt with my hand
Aw man can’t you understand
How I long to grab it, I must have it
So I must devise a plan

I gotta get her to stand up
to get her up off of her butt
What can I do to get out of this rut

Maybe I’ll pretend to slip and fall
and hit my head against the wall
and play dead till she has to clean me up

[chorus x3]

I recorded this song in my office, using an electronic drum set, guitars, and some free recording software. My singing makes Kylie Minogue seem even creepier.